Reclaim Reflections: The Cost of Perfect
Have you noticed how many emails, blogs, social media posts these days feel so empty? The words are perfect, the grammar and punctuation is correct, the flow is accurate, yet something feels off. When AI first started being a tool for writing, I was excited about it. I am a good writer, I know that, and also, I struggle at times with the punctuation and grammar. In my mind, I was going to use AI for only editing my copy. Cleaning it up, making it flow better. But then I read what was coming out and yes, the grammar was correct, yes, the flow was there…but where did I go? The intention behind the words fell flat. The meaning of the messages went away. The words were there, but the writing was lost. It lacked the very thing AI is unable to do for us…be human.
And being human is imperfect.
It is messy.
It is fumbling and falling. Learning to stand, then falling back down again. Reaching out for a hand, hopefully being held, and then doing it all over again.
It is real. Is my writing perfect? No. Is it human and based in connection? Yes.
I don’t need perfect. I don’t want perfect. I want real. I want connection. I want your humanness to see my humanness and I want us to heal in relationship. So much of Somatic Experiencing and bodywork is about being given the space to show up as you are, being seen and valued for whatever version of yourself needs a little extra care in this moment. There is nothing scripted. It is the art of being human and witnessing another person’s experience. Walking with another human through their pain and helping them see they already have everything inside of them they need to heal.
We’re taught we “should” be able to do this alone. This. This? Life, perhaps. Healing, yes. We are taught there is a level of healing we need to achieve on our own before we are worthy of letting another human see us.
And to that, I say…no.
We cannot forget to see each other’s humanity. We need each other. We need the real versions of each other. Not some polished AI version. You. The messy, imperfect, always healing and yet not broken, versions of you.
I understand the next question to be…but how do I know who that person inside is? How do I know what I think, what I feel, who I am?
Oh yes. I hear you. When a lifetime has been spent overriding your body’s signals and being told a story about who you “should” be, of course it feels impossible.
And, that, my friends, is where Somatic Experiencing comes in. Who are you deep down and what is it you truly want? What experiences need to be felt, witnessed, and rewritten? What versions of you need a little extra care, a little extra love, a little more compassion? Your body knows. Your mind doesn’t have to. The story lives in the body and can be rewritten.
All this to say…we need each other. The real versions of each other. I don’t want perfect, I want the mess of humanness. The connection of relational healing. There is a different way to do things and we will build it together. I don’t know how it all looks, but I can say, it’s human. It’s real. It’s relational. And it starts with us. So I am making the choice to not use AI for my writing. I am making the choice to show up for my clients as a human. I am making the choice to bring the real version of myself to life because that is what I crave for our society. You be you. I be me. And we heal with one another.